Dear Il-suk,
How are you getting along? We are doing well.
The good news is that your mother's gotten well enough to give me a hand at the vinyl house. So don't worry about us. It's definitely spring here. The hills are green with life and the cherry blossom's in full bloom. It's the farming season. I'm giving a shot at farming this year.
Since the harvest seems to be in abundance this year, I'm planning to buy you a nice pair of clothes. Il-suk, do your best. I've been working along with you every step of the way and I'm so glad the result is satisfying.
Two months have passed since you visited home on new year's day.
I miss you a lot and I'm sorry I didn't visit you more frequently.
I'm sorry for not being a better father for you. Your mother's heart breaks for not being able to take care of you due to her illness. I'm to be blamed for that, son.
But I have a trust in you. I believe you and your determination to aim high in life by studying hard and maintaining good health. Son, don't be dispirited by the passing poverty.
You have enough time to make a better future for yourself. You have precious time to make your dreams come true. They say a youth is a youth for he has dreams full of hope!
The greatness we find in history isn't what we inherit from our parents but what we make of the time given us.
Son, dream a sweet dream. Cultivate it with all your efforts. Struggle if necessary. A budding life, and it's struggle for life is the most beautiful sight.
We all tend to aim for a life more prosperous, respectful, safe, convenient, joyous and thankful. Your studies are the foundation of the life as such. There's always a chance for one who dreams and who makes efforts. He will be rewarded with a fruitful life, so don't ever lose your spirit.
Two years ago, you chose Hanil High School with dream and courage. I was really proud of you. And now, I'm so glad that you made a lot of good friends and that you heed well to you teachers' words. So, son, don't get impatient if your grades aren't good enough. I hear everyone gets to be the same around second year, whether you prepared for your studies in advance or not. Remind yourself of the story of ‘The Hare and The Turtle'. Trust yourself in your truthfulness and faithfulness. You have enough time to study step by step.
They say you need something to show the world to become a success in life.
You need a superior ability to show the world of your success. And that ability is comprised of the specialty in your knowledge and the wisdom and sociability that you can derive from that knowledge. You study to appreciate and help others, not just to defeat others and be conceited. You need your own wisdom and the knowledge of your friends to be able to help others with your abilities.
Son, make friends with whom you can share your knowledge and pour your heart out. Life is about what we share with our family and friends.
Time is fair to us but the fruit of time is not equal. A big difference will be made according to the process of the way a person makes up one's mind or reflect on one's faults and to whether one makes more efforts or not. It is the God's way that even the chestnut tree standing on one side is promised to bear abundant fruits in autumn, if it is supplied with good air, sun-rays and nutrition. Who will deny such a way of God? and who will coplain of the injustice of it?
You and I will think of the nutrition you need to show our family and the world the fruit you'll bear.
Son, keep in mind that everyone is equal, whether one excels or not. You get to maintain your life by being precious and equal. Everybody gets to experience laughter, anger, sorrow and pleasure in the path of one's life.
Your life is decided by what you determine and how you act and express yourself.
Happiness in life lies in your hands. Life and death lies beside us and the impression of our life either exists with dignity on this earth or it lies in defeat. Look upon the life and death on this earth and remind yourself of the great life you'll lead.
Son, let's think about how you'll make your life sacred and full of gratitude. It is a blessing that you and I were born and are alive. And it is a glory that we laugh and cry, make efforts and lead a life and then return to earth when death comes.
How are we going to thank this enormous greatfulness and the blessings and glory? Sages say that a person gets to become sacred, prosperous and honorable if one leads a life wothy of oneself. How to lead a life worthy of oneself? A person has five different ethics. It is called 'the Five Codes of Ethics'. The first is that father and son should be on close terms, the second is that the sovereign and subject should be honorable to each other, the third is that man and wife should respect each others' boundaries, the fourth is that there lies a rule between the old and the young and the fifth is that friends should be faithful to each other. This code teaches us that the relationships we have in life is the one we have with our family members, colleagues, husband and wife, allumni and friends, and that we can lead a worthy and happy life if we maintain these relationships with friendliness, righteousness, love, respect and faithfulness.
In Dongmongsunseup, the book of children's learning, it is said that, "According to Mencius, among all the living things in this world, Men are most noble and the reason for that is that men follow the Five Codes of Ethics." What can bring a man to abide by the Five Codes of Ethics and become worthy of himself? The foundation of that is to be prudent in speaking out our thoughts or acting out.
Having affectionate and pleasant manners so as not to irritate others and moral attitude is the basis of what makes men different from others. Compassion and love should start by not irritating or harming others.
Relationships of men must be based in understanding and trust, respect and greatfulness. That is the reason that faithfulness, sincerity, diligence and service are needed and that the expression of language by one's eyes, lips and ears is so important. So don't look around or listen without paying heed and don't speak without thinking twice. The feelings we share in relationships of men are defined by gratitude and regrets. If you don't pay thanks when gratifications are needed or do not apologize when an apology is needed, you will hurt others' feelings and get others to think of you as an equal to the beasts.
Son, be even more affectionate in greeting others, pay thanks as soon as possible and make an apology immediately. That is how you are remembered as pure and profound in others' mind.
And one other important factor is that we humanbeings tend to be envious and jealous of others. Don't be envious or jealous of your friends on petty things since they are the partners of your life. Envy and jealousy can be a motivating factor for the development of oneself. But having a great ambition and bringing it to make true is what counts. Speaking ill of others and defeating them in unjust ways cannot be the foundation of one's energy to the development of great amount.
How naive it would seem if you envy others for a pair of new shoes or a good grade in art - based on the painting which he didn't even paint himself. If you submit a painting which isn't the one of your own work, many of your friends will ignore you in their minds for your dishonesty and untruthfulness. And that negative image of you will remain in their minds even after you graduate.
So don't be envious of petty things.
It took me this long to tell you that a person needs not just a fragment of merit but an overall ability to achieve a great success and that life is a pleasant and appreciative favor given us by god and that it's worth living happily. The point is to make it a habit and let ourselves get used to it. That is why we need devotion and cultivation of our minds. What we know and understand is rationality but the instinctive egoism and idleness tend to show up in life.
Should this life deceive you, don't be sad or mad at it. Even Confucius, a chinese sage of noble character is said to have reflected himself on his conduct three times a day. Self-retrospection is not only about regret but it's about expecting an advance and hope, it is the most important virtue that a leader can have.
Son, take a look at yourself everyday and devote yourself in your work with courage. Straighten up and breathe the fresh air of early morning. Maintain good health and take regular exercises. Keep your spirits high. I enjoyed myself writing this letter to you, shaping up your dreams and sharing my ideas with you.
Spring must be in full bloom in your school yard.
By the way, I saw a sock hanging on a branch of a zelkova tree. Did you do that as a joke? The branch seemed to be straining a little...
Time to go now. Mother and I will go see you someday soon.
2005. 4. 19.
Love, Dad.
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